I’m a busy Mum whose son turned three recently and is having a birthday party on Sunday and I enjoy baking.
You’d think this was a great mix, especially when I get inspired by lovely things I see online. Like cake pops. Little balls of cake on sticks, coated in chocolate and then decorated with all manner of things. Every time I see a blog post about these little morsels, they look so simple and everyone extolls how easy they are to make.
Stupidly, I took them at their word. And that’s how The Great Cake Pop Disaster came to pass.
Directions for making cake pops:
- Bake a cake. Just a plain Victoria sponge cake. Easy.
- Break up the cake into chunks while young son looks on with horrified expression on his face at the seemingly wanton destruction of perfectly good cake. So far, so good.
- Use my blender to break down the chunks of cake into crumbs while son screams, “No! My cake! My cake!”
- Open a large jar of Nutella. Oh, Nutella, you gorgeous jar of choco-nutty deliciousness, you!
- Add very generous dollop of Nutella to the cake crumbs and mix well till it all start sticking together nicely.
- Roll into chocolatey-cakey balls and try not to start singing Chef’s Song out loud in front of son who is too young to know about South Park.
- Poke little holes in chocolate balls (you’re still humming Chef’s Song, aren’t you?) with a lollipop stick and melt the chocolate.
- Dip the ends of the lollipop sticks in the melted chocolate and then stick them in the chocolate balls (yup, still humming that tune!) and pop them all in the fridge so the chocolate will anchor the sticks in place.
- Look on in dismay as a drop of water gets into the chocolate and ruins the whole lot of it – all four bars. Kick yourself as you dump the irredeemable mess in the bin.
- Melt another lot of chocolate – one bar at a time just to be sure you don’t waste four bars like last time – and dip your first cake pop in.
- Try not to swear as it breaks and falls off the stick into the chocolate.
- Try not to swear again as each and every one of the cake pops comes off its stick in the chocolate.
- Sacrifice your pastry brush in the hopes that brushing the chocolate on instead of dipping the cake pops in will make a difference.
- Fail in the trying-not-to-swear stakes as you realise you’ve ruined your pastry brush and the cake pops are STILL all coming off their sticks.
- Carry on painting the chocolate onto the cake pops and pulling out the sticks to drop them in the rainbow-hued sugar strands.
- Panic when you realise you’ve run out of sugar strands and still have half your cake pops to cover.
- Dig around in the baking cupboard and actually cheer when you find a bag of desiccated coconut and use that for the rest of them.
- Pop them all in the fridge to set and give the broken ones to hubby and child to polish off.
- Decide you’re never making cake pops again as they’re just too much hassle.
- Finally clean up the mess that is covering the entire kitchen.
I really hope the kids at the party appreciate the damned things.
We’ve decided to call them truffles.