And on tonight’s news…
BONG! Celebrity A has confessed to cheating on Celebrity B with Celebrity C
BONG! Celebrity D comes out of the closet and admits, “I’m Gay!”
BONG! Celebrity E is slammed for being too skinny
BONG! Celebrity F is caught wearing fur after anti-fur campaigning
BONG! Celebrity G goes into rehab again for drink/drug abuse and sex addiction
BONG! The Mentalist is on at 9pm
Yes, unbelievably, these are all “top stories” I’ve heard on the news in the very recent past, and I have a bit of a beef with it. Let’s take the stories one at a time, shall we?
Celebrity A has confessed to cheating on Celebrity B with Celebrity C
People cheat on their partners all the time. How many people can honestly hold up their hand and say “I have never, ever cheated on any of my partners”? And of those who can, how many can say, “For definite, none of my partners have never cheated on me”? Really? Are you being completely honest with yourself? It’s not news just because the people involved are famous – it’s just a bunch of people screwing each other and getting/causing hurt and it’s nobody’s business but theirs.
Celebrity D comes out of the closet and admits, “I’m Gay!”
And in what way does it affect us? Do we still love their music/movies/whatever it is they do? Then what business is it of ours what they choose to do in the bedroom and with whom they choose to do it?
Celebrity E is slammed for being too skinny
I’m willing to bet that Celebrity E was, just a few short months ago, branded “a bit chunky” and has had an extreme over-reaction to the comments because they live and work in a world where image is everything. It’s hands up time again – how many of us can honestly say they are 100% happy with their body? How many of us battle with our weight, whether we need to shed or gain some? Does it really make a difference to us whether or not Celebrity E is under or overweight if it does not affect their work? If they need help with a weight problem, they shouldn’t have to deal with it in a glare of publicity. By all means, if that celebrity chooses to champion a cause and become a spokesperson to raise awareness of said problem, good for them. If not, please leave them alone!
Celebrity F is caught wearing fur after anti-fur campaigning
You know what? People are hypocrites! We’ve been saying one thing and doing another as long as we’ve had language at our disposal. Human beings are fallible. Human beings do stupid things that contradict what they said only a short time before. I might not agree with the fur trade, but while I wear leather shoes, I don’t feel I’m in a strong position to throw stones at the fur-wearer’s glass house – someone else could just as easily be taking aim at mine!
Celebrity G goes into rehab again for drink/drug abuse and sex addiction
See my comments for Celebrity E. People get drunk/high and become addicted to substances/activities all the time. Let them get on with trying to get better, whether they’re famous or the person down the street from you. They deserve help and support as much as the next person. And it’s hardly anything new for a Celebrity to live to excess – many people who are not celebrities go out and get raucously drunk and take drugs every weekend then go home and have sex with someone they shouldn’t.
The Mentalist is on at 9pm
If I want to know what’s on the telly, I’ll check the TV listings. I keep close tabs on when my favourite programmes are on so I can record them and watch them at my leisure when I know I have the time and energy to enjoy them properly.
So, how many of the above headlines were actually news? The answer is NONE OF THEM! Five were celebrity gossip and the other was a heads-up on a show. When did the news turn into a gossip magazine? Was it perhaps around the same time that newscasters started sitting on their desks instead of behind them?
I have resolved not to watch any news programme again until they sort this out. What little actual news there is (war, ecological disasters, criminal cases brought to court, etc) is slotted between such dross that we miss most of what could actually be important information, or actual news.
Is anyone else driven nuts by this? Is it time we all started a “News” boycott till the networks wise up and start reporting news again?